🔗 Have we been thinking about ADHD all wrong?

This is a long—very long!—article, but well worth the time.

A good reminder from Jason Fried:

Be curious about what’s new, sure. That’s expected. But it’s more interesting to be curious about what’s old. What stood the test of time? What worked before and still works now? What survived through all the jabs that you assumed would knock it out, but didn’t?

🔗 What’s still here?

DeepSeek is a good reminder that the greatest innovations are often born from constraints, not abundance.

This was a good nudge from Brad Stulberg. I read a fair bit, but it is all too often distracted reading rather than deep reading.

🔗 A Brief Guide to Developing a Deep Reading Habit

This episode of the Farewell podcast is eye-opening, alarming, but not without hope:

🎙️ From Solitude to Social Fitness: Rethinking Connection in the 21st Century (with Derek Thompson)

Key idea: our dopamine is getting used up scrolling which leaves us with no drive left for real social engagement.

This is spot on from Shane Parrish in his latest newsletter:

Being brilliant won’t save you if no one can count on you… Reliability isn’t just a virtue - it’s a competitive advantage that compounds over time.

The MTO goal-setting technique is new to me, but I like the idea of this. Instead of just single stretch goals, you set Minimum, Target, and Outrageous versions of the goal. I think this could help me a lot!

This article by Joan Westenberg is the strongest essay on cynicism I’ve ever read. There’s lots of memorable paragraphs, but this in particular will stay with me:

[Cynicism is] an emotional defense mechanism. If you expect the worst, you’ll never be disappointed. If you assume everything is corrupt, you can’t be betrayed. But this protection comes at a terrible price. The cynic builds emotional armor that also functions as a prison, keeping out not just pain but also possibility, connection, and growth.

Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.

—Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, from his sermon titled “The Most Durable Power,” delivered at Dexter Avenue Baptist Church on November 6, 1956.

A good reminder that hate—like unforgiveness and bitterness—is always a form of self-harm.

It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent.

—Charlie Munger, the American investor best known for being the longtime vice chairman of Berkshire Hathaway.

Teenagers seem to be spending less time with friends and Ofcom says the average British 11 or 12-year-old now spends 29 hours a week online, equivalent to a part-time job.

Various contributors propose “10 ways to keep children off smartphones”.

Lots of good ideas, but I particularly liked this one:

Arrange a certain time every weekend or one day a week after school with neighbours to act like old-fashioned parents and encourage your children out of the house — and keep their phones inside.

Andrew Van Dam asks: “Are men finally pulling their weight around the house?”

Though men are pulling more weight, it still isn’t evenly divided, dispite what men themselves think.

Some interesting observations around cooking though, where men are definitely doing more than they used to.

It is easier to build strong children than fix broken adults!

—Steve Chalke

Cheaper too!

I listened to a riveting conversation with Rhaina Cohen on The Ezra Klein Show while driving down to London today. It’s an episode called, “What relationships would you want if you believed they were possible?” and I know already it’s something that will stay with me for some time. It explores so many different relationships and expands the sense of what maybe could or even should be in widening and deepening our relationships.

Good thoughts, as always, from Alex McManus:

Complexipacity is the capacity to thrive in complexity. It’s not about simplifying the world around us—it’s about expanding ourselves. As individuals and as teams, we can learn to move beyond survival mode into a space of creativity and growth, using complexity as a catalyst for innovation…

…Complexipacity isn’t a destination. It’s a mindset, a set of practices, and a way of being. As we embrace it, we’re not just navigating the world’s complexity—we’re helping to shape it.

It’s 15 plus years since I first heard Alex talk on this theme. The insight has stayed with me ever since—and feels more relevant than ever.

Jason Kottke: “…for my last post of the year, here’s a giant media diet recap of (almost) everything I read, watched, listened to, and experienced in the year of our lord 2024.”

Great list! Grabbed a several ideas from this for listening and watching to this year.

This cartoon by Max Wittert in the New Yorker (17 November 2024) certainly feels apt!

“Don’t you just love curling up with a good phone?”

“The Age of Diagnosis: Sickness, Health and Why Medicine Has Gone Too Far” by Suzanne O’Sullivan sounds fascinating. Looking forward to reading it when it’s out in March.

This is a delightful list of 52 things Kent Hendricks learned in 2024.

Fascinating data visualisation of the changing ways couples have met since 1930.

Good piece on the importance of just continually showing up.

In my experience making content, writing stories and producing work online, I have learned one thing.

You can’t count on much more than the power of consistency.

—Joan Westenberg

Avoiding mental junk food.

A good reminder from Shane Parrish:

Before diving into the news or scrolling through feeds, ask: “Will this still matter next year?” If not, it’s probably mental junk food. The sugar high will leave you craving even more.

Avoid mental junk food. Feed your mind substance. Your future self will thank you.

[fs.blog]

How would we write differently if…

Love this hypothetical raised by Todd Rogers, author of ‘Writing for Busy Readers’:

How would we write differently if we thought 90% of those…

…reading books stopped after one chapter?

…reading memos stopped after the introduction?

…reading academic articles stopped after the abstract?

…reading legal decisions stopped after the Summary?

Reality may not be very far from this hypothetical. If that’s true, I’d likely write more like journalists by using the inverted pyramid where the first paragraph has all the key information and what follows is more detail.

[writingforbusyreaders.com]

When empathy is too hard.

A series of experiments led by Pennsylvania State University psychologist C. Daryl Cameron found that most individuals prefer to opt out of the cognitive effort empathy requires, especially if they don’t know the other person well:

…it’s harder to empathize with someone who feels distant or unknown than with a close loved one. “The more shared experiences you have with someone, the more of a rich, nuanced representation you can draw on,” Cameron says. But empathy for someone whose experience feels alien—the person who disagrees with you online, the man in a tent outside the subway or even a cousin who spouts extremist views—is a different matter. A host of disquieting unknowns arises: Is identifying with this person going to put you in danger? Will it compel you to sacrifice something important, such as time, money, tranquility?

When such anticipated costs overwhelm people, they’re more prone to withdraw altogether rather than trying to understand where the other person is coming from. “We are quite adept at learning how to manage our emotional environments to cultivate what we want to feel,” Cameron says. “Empathizing with a stranger, taking on their experiences—either negative or positive experiences—people find it difficult, they find it costly. And the more they feel that way, the less they opt in.”

Harvard social psychologist Erika Weisz points out there is hope though:

…another way to nudge people toward empathy—and keep them there—is to embed them in communities where empathy is a baseline expectation. “People want to increase their empathy if you tell them, essentially, it will help them socially,” Weisz says. “That is a perfectly reasonable leverage.” Unlike empathy skills training, which teaches specific methods of relating to others, Weisz’s approach involves building communities that value and reward empathetic behavior. It draws on a kind of constructive peer pressure.

[scientificamerican.com]

Inventing good and evil.

The Economist reviews ‘The Invention of Good and Evil’ by Hanno Sauer, concluding:

…despite the fury of the culture wars, Mr Sauer sees “an enormous… unrealised potential for reconciliation”. After hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, people share more moral values than they think, and this could help them cast off the identity politics that tells them they are enemies. “Between the extremes of ‘being on time is white supremacy’ and ‘we must revitalise Western Christianity’s cultural hegemony,’ there is a silent majority of reasonable people,” he concludes. He is surely right.

[theeconomist.com]

What makes a good manager?

Really want to be a manager? You probably wouldn’t be a good one.

The researchers found that a competent manager had about twice as much impact on the team’s performance as a competent worker. More usefully, they also found out which traits were associated with good and bad managerial performance. Teams run by people who said they really, really wanted to be managers performed worse than those who were assigned to lead them by chance. Self-promoting types tended to be overconfident about their own abilities; in a huge shock, they also tended to be men.

[theeconomist.com]

“Holding death close so I remember to live”.

Kelly McMasters, writing in the New York Times:

I wrote my obituary last week. I often do so once a year; it has become a kind of ritual.

…I’m grateful my mother brought the practice of looking at death this way to the dinner table all those decades ago and continued to do so through all the stories of her dying patients after that. Just as my aunt taught me the value of keeping a journal, my mother’s obituary exercise taught me the practice and value of holding death close, so I could remember to live.

[nytimes.com]

Why Malcolm Gladwell still appeals.

With the recent release of his newest book, The Economist explores the ongoing success of Malcolm Gladwell’s books:

Two things are near-certain about this book: it will wind up, probably soon, on bestseller lists. His detractors, also soon, will sneer at it. Steven Pinker, a psychologist at Harvard, said in a review in 2009 that “Readers have much to learn from Gladwell the journalist and essayist. But when it comes to Gladwell the social scientist, they should watch out.”

This line of criticism misses the point. Mr Gladwell is not a social scientist, nor does he claim to be. He is a journalist who popularises ideas from social science using what he has called “intellectual adventure stories…Their conclusions,” he concedes, “can seem simplified or idiosyncratic.” But stories are also, to use a Gladwellian phrase, sticky. The 10,000-hour rule is memorable; “work hard” is the forgettable line that every coach, teacher and parent has said a million times over.

[theeconomist.com]

Chance and fortune.

Thought-provoking conversation on the Start the Week podcast, hosted by Tom Sutcliffe:

‘Professor Risk’ David Spiegelhalter delves into the data and statistics to explore the forces of chance, ignorance and luck… Whereas life is uncertain, he shows how far the circumstances of how, when and where you were born have an overriding influence on your future. But he warns against confusing the improbable with the impossible.

[bbc.co.uk]

How the medical profession made peanut allergies worse.

In a second clinical trial, published in the New England Journal of Medicine in 2015, [Dr. Gideon] Lack compared one group of infants who were exposed to peanut butter at 4-11 months of age to another group that had no peanut exposure. He found that early exposure resulted in an 86% reduction in peanut allergies by the time the child reached age 5 compared with children who followed the AAP recommendation [of no peanut exposure until children are three]. 

Fascinating look into how the medical profession ended up inadvertently creating a peanut allergy crisis with non-evidence-based advice.

[wsj.com] / [Apple News]

More to snoring than just being an annoyance.

Graham Lawton, staff writer at New Scientist, explains how snoring is more than a nuisance:

That’s the thing about snoring: many of us consider it to be little more than an embarrassment or an annoyance and grudgingly put up with it. But accumulating findings suggest that this trivialises an important, and common, health problem.

Snoring isn’t just associated with broken sleep, it can be a warning sign of trouble ahead and also appears to have some potentially serious impacts on the snorer’s cardiovascular system. Despite a proliferation of remedies, there is a paucity of evidence about what works. But as sleep researchers increasingly wake up to the hidden dangers of snoring, there is hope the nightmare will soon end.

[newscientist.com]

“Are we too impatient to be intelligent?”

Instinctively, people love to codify things, and make them numerical, and turn them into optimization problems with a single right answer. Because the second you acknowledge ambiguity, you now have to exercise choice. If you can pretend there’s no ambiguity, then you haven’t made a decision, you can’t be blamed, you can’t be held responsible. And what’s the first thing you remove if you want to remove ambiguity from a model? You remove human psychology, because human psychology, particularly around time, is massively ambiguous.

The whole essay, adapted from a talk given by Rory Sutherland, is fascinating.

[behavioralscientist.org]

Parenting getting more and more stressful.

Camilla Cavendish, columnist at the Financial Times, reports on the growing isolation and stress experienced by parents.

Even with the amount of time parents spend with their kids increasing, there are downsides to this. The rise of one-to-one time with children is coinciding with a decline in the play date and parenting alongside friends. Hence the growing feelings of isolation.

Cavendish concludes:

When you’re already feeling stressed, being told not to pass your anxieties on to your children feels counterproductive: a recipe for piling on the pressure. But challenging society to support parents, and reduce isolation, is right. As the UK Covid-19 inquiry began its hearings this week on the impact of the pandemic on children, there will be much evidence about the traumatic impact of lockdowns on young people. But someone also needs to ask how parents are faring. We know that time spent with friends, which fell precipitously in lockdowns, has not recovered as robustly for parents as for non-parents. A big question is why. 

[ft.com]

Studies confirm shared experiences, more than material things, bring people together.

I think we all intuitively know (even if we have buried the knowing) that experiences are more meaningful than possessions. But as the quote below highlights, with this being true, there is a responsibility for cities and towns to facilitate the opportunity for experiences that bring people together.

One clear takeaway from this research—like the many studies on experiential spending and happiness done to date—is that people would likely be wise to tilt their spending toward “doing” rather than “having.” But our work points to another implication as well. Communities could benefit in many ways from encouraging experiential pursuits. Policymakers can support access to public parks, beaches and museums, for example. Improved funding for the arts and performance spaces can be a way for communities to ensure that shared experiences continue to bring people together, as the National Endowment for the Arts has highlighted. Our work hints that such investments could kick off a virtuous cycle. Directing resources toward more community engagement might spur improvements in societal well-being.

[scientificamerican.com]

All forecasting is storytelling.

Morgan Housel serves up a good reminder:

…while data-driven storytelling doesn’t mean guessing, it doesn’t mean prophecy.

We can use historical data to assume a trend will continue, but that’s just a story we want to believe in a world where things change all the time.

We can use data to assume a crazy event will revert to the norm, but that’s also just a story in a world where unsustainable trends last longer than people think.

[collabfund.com]

Why we should all be writing more.

There are plenty of science-based benefits to writing. Here’s just one of them:

By expressing our thoughts and emotions on paper, we can process difficult experiences more effectively, reduce negative feelings, and even improve our practical outcomes. Whether you’re facing job loss, personal setbacks, or any other hardship, taking the time to write about your experience could help you bounce back faster and stronger.

[nesslabs.com]

The need for more ‘social prescriptions’

Interesting article in Scientific American discussing the need for more ‘social prescriptions’ within the medical profession.

Why?

80 percent of our health outcomes are driven by social factors in our environments, while only 16 percent are related to clinical care.

Do social prescriptions actually work?

One review of 86 social prescribing programs in the U.K. found patients who received social prescriptions experienced not only a decrease in anxiety, depression and negative mood, but also an increase in self-esteem, confidence, mental well-being and positive mood. This complements decades of research demonstrating the ways certain kinds of social prescriptions are effective for treating certain kind of ailments, like exercise for depression, or forest bathing for stress and heart diseases.

Clearly, there’s no either-or to this. But it seems a no-brainer, when health services are so constrained, to promote more of these social prescriptions.

Clint Smith on dealing with criticism as an artist

From an interview with Brené Brown:

Criticism is and always has been a part of what it means to be an artist. Obviously, the difference now is that there is a different type of proximity we have to the feelings folks have about the work we put into the world. Oftentimes, that is a really beautiful and meaningful thing. For example, when I see tweets or Instagram posts from teachers who are sharing my work with their students, it means more than I can say. And sure, there will always be those who feel differently about you or your work. I simply try to accept that I have no control over that and do my best to focus on what drew me to the work in the first place: a pursuit of my own curiosities and the space to wrestle with complex questions.

“How ‘Inside Out’ and its sequel changed therapy”

Amazing to see how an animated movie is having such an impact, helping both mental health practitioners and educators, as well as parents.

“The Marshmallow Test does not reliably predict adult functioning”

We’ve all likely heard about the Marshmallow Test. Kids are given an option of a marshmallow now, or more marshmallows later. And, supposedly, the kids who resist eating the marshmallow now do better in life. Delayed gratification is, we were told, a key indicator of various success measures later in life. I was never totally convinced about this to be honest. And it appears to have now been debunked:

Using a preregistered analysis, Marshmallow Test performance was not strongly predictive of adult achievement, health, or behavior… No clear pattern of moderation was detected between delay of gratification and either socioeconomic status or sex. Results indicate that Marshmallow Test performance does not reliably predict adult outcomes.

“Consensus is the enemy of greatness”

Brian Halligan, co-founder and former CEO of HubSpot, on why he stopped looking for consensus:

“For a long time, I looked for consensus. I think consensus is really the enemy of scale, and so I used to say, “Whenever we’re making an important decision, there should be winners in the room and losers. We shouldn’t find that negotiated settlement that everyone is happy with. Somebody should be unhappy, three or four people should walk out unhappy, and one should walk out happy, and we’re all going to be good with it.” As you get bigger, the gravity pulls you towards consensus, and I think consensus is the enemy of greatness.”

Do we no longer want to be unique?

Fascinating study showing that fewer people want to stand out in public.

The study looked at three dimensions of uniqueness: concern about other people’s reactions, desire to break the rules and the willingness to defend beliefs publicly. All three facets declined but the most dramatic were people being hesitant to defend their beliefs publicly (a 6.52% decline) and becoming more concerned with what people think about them (a 4.28% decline).

This data suggests that individuals see that expressing uniqueness might compromise their ability to fit in with others or may even lead to being ostracized.

“If cynicism was a pill, it would be a poison.”

An interview in New Scientist with a recovering cynic on what science tells us about the impact of being cynical.

Cynicism hurts us in basically every way a scientist can measure. Cynics suffer in terms of their mental health. They are more depressed and anxious. They tend to abuse substances like alcohol more; their relationships are shorter-lived and less satisfying. Their health is worse – everything from cellular inflammation to coronary disease to diabetes, all these are predicted by cynicism. They do worse financially.

Tim Harford on AI and plausible bullshit

Not for the first time, we learn that large language models can be phenomenal bullshit engines. The difficulty here is that the bullshit is so terribly plausible. We have seen falsehoods before, and errors, and goodness knows we have seen fluent bluffers. But this? This is something new.

Adam Peaty: Why silver is better than gold

As soon as you define your whole life by medals, you’ll have no one to share it with. I’d rather get silver and have someone to share it with than gold and be on my own.

Quite a remarkable transformation.

People with type 1 diabetes may soon only need to give themselves insulin once a week

Scientists have found a solution that experts say comes as close to a cure for type 1 diabetes as any drug therapy could: smart insulin that lies dormant in the body and only springs into action when needed.

This would be transformative for so many people.

Be nice – but not too nice – to chatbots

Using polite prompts…can produce higher-quality responses from a large language model (LLM)—the technology powering AI chatbots. But there’s a point of diminishing returns; excessive flattery can cause a model’s performance to deteriorate, according to the paper.

“How to do one thing at a time”

Chris Guillebeau outlines a helpful, simple process:

1. You must identify the one thing.

2. It must be specific and measurable.

3. You must commit to doing only the one thing.

Simple doesn’t mean easy though!

Adam Grant on why he was wrong about the Olympics.

“You can love your people without hating others.”

He also adds:

I used to think the ideal state of the world was striving to transcend borders altogether. The Olympics reminded me that rejecting negative nationalism doesn’t require us to abandon positive patriotism

“Concentrate! How to improve your focus”

Lots of good tips and reminders in this article in The Times.

We tend to think mostly of behaviour around screens, but being able to focus is as much about what we eat and drink, sleeping well, and exercising.

What lies beneath: the growing threat to the hidden network of cables that power the internet

Fascinating article in The Guardian looking at how the internet really works, and the threats that would cause havoc if realised.

Turns out a quantum leap isn’t what I thought it was. (Who knew ‘quantum’ doesn’t mean huge? I didn’t!) And the significance of this to our personal development is fascinating. Love this latest article – The Quantum Self – by AleXander McManus.

What would it mean to be done for the day?

What you realise, the moment you ask “what would it mean to be done for the day?”, is that the answer can’t possibly involve doing all the things that need doing – even though that’s the subconscious goal with which many of us approach life, driving ourselves crazy in the process. If there are a thousand things that need doing, you’re going to need to arrive at some definition of “finished” that doesn’t encompass them all. Maybe it’s two hours on your main current project, and three detailed emails you’ve been meaning to write, plus a couple of quicker tasks? Your definition of “done” may be very different, of course, depending on your work, energy levels, and existing commitments. But merely by asking the question you’ll be leaving behind the daily quest to do more than you can – which systematically prevents you taking satisfaction in whatever you do manage to accomplish.

Always enjoy reading and pondering on Oliver Burkeman’s thoughts and perspectives.

Appreciated this on interested versus committed from Shane Parrish’s latest post.

Most people are interested. Few are truly committed. Interested people act when it’s convenient; committed people act no matter what.

Talk to your neighbour, your barista, or the person on the bus, your health could depend on it

This is a good interview with David Robson, author of The Laws of Connection.

An important reminder to stay social if we want to stay healthy

After a ten-year hiatus, my long-time friend and mentor, Alex McManus, is back writing.

The Digital Grim Reaper - by AleXander McManus

There’s a ton of great thoughts and reflections in his article, but it’s this one line that I’ve been musing on for days:

“Utilize AI for the purposes of making the world more human.”